Hi everyone. I have a free gift for you this week, an ebook : How to follow your creative dream and make loads of money! Many different creative, self-employed women with on-line businesses including moi contributed to this ebook. It’s my thank you gift for YOU!

Let me know what helps you to keep following your creative dream.

Watch my video for some great tips on how to survive job loss or any life transition.  I love, love, love hearing from you, so leave your best tips below on the blog.

My husband lost his job last week. He’d worked for 30 years at the same company, well actually 5 different companies if you count name changes, mergers, bankruptcies and sales. He would have been eligible for an early retirement pension in two years. His job was eliminated from the organizational chart. That is corporate-speak for getting fired, let go, downsized, restructured, bid farewell, turfed, adios, au revoir, later loser. I digress.

I should be angry.

I should be upset.

But I feel like dancing a jig.

Ten years ago, my husband knew that his job no longer fit who he was. He didn’t quit. Quitting isn’t what men do. That’s why most of my clients are women, by the way. He believed that staying in his job allowed him to fulfill his role as a man – provider, hunter/gatherer, Tarzan. He gave up his soul for a regular paycheck and benefits – what he was taught to do. Over the last few years he was miserable. He tried to hide it but unhappiness at work spills over everywhere. He bargained with himself every week as he approached that early retirement date. He stretched the elastic of his soul trying to hold on.

You’d think that since my husband lived with a Life Coach who helps people to find and fulfill their true calling in life, that he knew that his real job in life was to express his true nature and add love to the world.

You’d be wrong.

The rules of society that he’d been taught to follow were so much more powerful. In his era the rules went something like this: Get job. Do what the company expects you to do. Keep job your whole life. Retire. Start having fun. Get sick and die within two months of your retirement while you are regretting that you didn’t have the courage to do something different earlier.

As the wife in this scenario, I have had the opportunity to take risk after risk in my work pursuing honest self expression in part because my husband had a “secure” job. In fact, my sister joked when she first heard the news.

Sister: So are you going to get a real job now?

Me: Actually, no. What I’m doing is my real job in life. So there! (Said with indignant outrage like it never occurred to me that his miserable job helped me in any way.)

Which brings me to the point of this blog.

The old agreement that employers and employees used to have, the one where they acted like parents – took care of you (pay, benefits , belonging and a job for life) and you got to be the child (show up, do what they asked you to and be gainfully employed) is dead.

Grieve it.

Because it never really existed.

Learn from my husband’s story and from many, many people who have lost their jobs when they never thought they would.

Your job security comes from you.

Figure out your talents and gifts now and find or create work that expresses your true nature. You create job security – by doing things you love and providing that to people who need it.

Losing a job that doesn’t reflect your true nature is a gift. 

It is the response to a silent prayer.

It tells you that the universe has been listening to you.

It gives you permission to finally start doing something that expresses the real you.

Grieve the loss of the old world. Grieve the loss of your old schedule and colleagues. Grieve the loss of your future pension. Do some financial re-jigging. Put aside your ego and false pride. Embrace your truth.

Celebrate the freedom that is coming.

Take the keys to the prison, escape from the dungeon, dare to decide to recreate your life.

The universe has given you permission.

Embrace it.

This is what I’m embarrassed to admit. What I really feel about my husband losing his job is gratitude.

I’m grateful that he lost his job – because now he can leave that chapter behind him.

I’m grateful that it is his turn to learn this lesson – because the universe doesn’t give you anything that you can’t handle and this means he’s ready for it.

I’m grateful that it’s not too late – because he’s healthy and still youngish and can still do anything he wants.

I’m grateful that he can finally glimpse the joy and hope that is waiting for him just around this corner.

If you or someone you love has lost a job that doesn’t reflect their true nature, remember that you’ve been given a gift.

Embrace the gift and celebrate.

Share below on the blog your thoughts about this, your best tips for people who lose their jobs and your experiences with downsizing. I love to hear from you!

This week I want to share with you twenty one things that I’ve learned about creating your life’s work and finding your passions.

1. You don’t need to have an exceptional talent. All you need to have is something you really, really love. What you love creates a   life force inside you that forces you to do something. Once you do something, you have started creating your life’s work.
2. To find your passions follow what feels “right” and don’t follow what doesn’t. Start noticing when your heart soars and each time it does, follow, repeat or do more of the activity that made it soar.
3. The hard part of creating your life’s work is unlearning almost everything you’ve ever learned about success and what a “good job” is and the importance of fitting in.
4. Getting clear on your talents and gifts is essential to creating your life’s work.
5. Stop suppressing despair. Your emotions are just the messenger. If you are feeling despair, angst or boredom, figure out what message your emotions are bringing and follow their counsel.
6. Do before you know. Learn from what you do.
7. Decide to be a beginner – not an expert. When you discover something you love, learn everything you can about it. Become a student.
8. Act “as if” you already are what you desire to be – even if you don’t quite believe it yet. Find other people that mirror the “future you” and become one of them.
9. To create ways to make a living from your passions start thinking about how what you love can serve others.
10. Even in the most perfect dream job, you’ll only be doing what you love, less than 80% of the time.
11. If you want to create a life where you are doing what you were born to do 80% ofthe time, consider self-employment.
12. You don’t have to be a born entrepreneur to run a successful on-line small business; you need a passion and good technical assistance.
13. It takes about 3 years to shift your career identity when you make a career change. That’s lucky because for many of us, it takes about 3 years to actually get a small on-line business going, so you might need another source of income.
14. As soon as you start following your heart, you’ve already found your true calling– even if you can’t name what it is yet.
15. Stop using external feedback – what others think- how it looks – if your family is proud, as your motivator and start relying on your inner “rightness” meter.
16. Recognize that being scared shitless means that you have succeeded in leaving your comfort zone.  Celebrate your fear – it
    means you are moving in the right direction.
17. Stop being so hard on yourself.  Resting, playing and being kind to yourself will get you further than beating yourself up.
18. Do stuff that moves you closer to your life’s work even when you don’t have a plan. Not having a plan is not a reason to stop moving forward.
19. Express gratitude for each discovery. Acknowledging and appreciating the things you’ve done, is far more important than focusing on what you haven’t done yet.
20. Teach what you’ve learned.
21. Even if you don’t think you have a passion, you do and you probably have many. It is one of the gifts that you get because you are a human being. Expressing your passions lights up your life.

What have you learned about finding your passions or creating your life’s work?  I love to hear from you.  Share it below on the blog!

Where I live in Northern Quebec, spring consists of balmy hot days followed by snow storms. It’s tumultuous. I don’t fight it anymore. If I wake up to a blanket of snow, like today, I say, “Oh it snowed” and I dress appropriately. If I wake up to the brilliant sunshine and a summer breeze, I say “Oh its warm today” and I dress appropriately.

Byron Katie, author and spiritual guru would call this “loving what is.”
We spend much of our time fighting what is, arguing about the way it should be.

He should listen to me.
It should be warm by now.
My business should be up and running.
I should know what my niche is by now.
My boss should know that he is short sighted.
I should know what my passions are.
He should clean up his room.

Having a litany of “shoulds” running through your head is exhausting. You are constantly fighting against what is. 

Deciding to accept what is, allows you to be in the present moment and not stuck in your head. It feels like relief. Some people believe that their job in life is to constantly improve. They believe that if they don’t focus on what is wrong (according to them) then they are ignoring the problem.

But is that true?

When you focus on what isn’t working, does that make it better?  Not in my experience.  My experience is the absolute opposite.

When you focus on what is working, that’s when things turn around, or the former “problem” dissolves and becomes insignificant.

The first few years that I lived in Northern Quebec, I spent all my time arguing about the way the weather should be.  I was in a funk checking out the weather everywhere else – finding evidence that we had the worst weather on the planet.

Then I got so tired of myself that I just stopped.

The magical discovery that I didn’t expect was once I stopped complaining, I started appreciating. It turns out that living in a place where the winters are frigid but sunny is much more fun than living in a grey temperate climate. It turns out that hot, dry summers in open spaces are way more fun that humid unbearable city summers.

Who would’ve thunk it?

Stop arguing with what is. It’ll transform your life.

I love hearing from you. What are you ready to stop complaining about? Share it below on the blog.

This week I’m participating as part of blog series, dreamed up by Michelle Ainslie for creative entrepreneurs who want to make a living doing what they love. Danielle LaPorte, Donna McCallum, Jenny Shih, Christina Pappas, Mayi Carles, Ash Ambirge, Jennifer Lee, April Bowles, and Tania Wojciechowski are also participating.

I have the first post in this series!

If you want to know how the 1960′s and 70′s show Bewitched might be stopping you from finding your purpose, read the guest blog here.

I love to hear from you! Have you figured out your life’s purpose? Has this post helped you? Leave your comments below on the blog!

Do you know what makes you different?  Do you know what your talents are?  Do you know what gifts you were born with?

I got back from the Martha Beck Coaches Convention 2012 and realized that even though I was with over 300 Life Coaches, we are all different.  Even though we have the same job title we all do it differently.

The most successful and the best Life Coaches express their uniqueness.  They don’t follow anyone else.  They do who they are.  That’s my message for you this week!  Here is this week’s video:

I was inspired by how important it is for you to find your edge, your uniqueness so I designed a new FREE April telephone class, Define Your Difference.  You’ll get a free 18 page Playsheet Package right away when you register.

Sign up HERE

I made a video! Woo-hoo!

I’m talking about the first step to creating your life’s work and that is Daring to Decide. Watch the video and share with me on the blog why you have decided to find your passions or create your life’s work!

A big thank you to Jenny Shih for inspiring my video making.

Tell me below on the blog your big reason for finding your passions and creating your life’s work! I’m sure you have a big “why” and I want to know what it is!

This week, Career Coach, Alison Elissa interviewed me and we came up with 7 Tips to Finding your Calling.   Our discussion was so much fun that I decided to post it here.  I think you might find it helpful.  You can download our 40 minute interview here.  I can talk about this topic for hours so you are lucky I only went on for 40 minutes and that Alison successfully kept me on track!

You can download a PDF, 7 tips to Finding your Calling here.

If you know what your true calling is, what is your best tip for others looking for theirs?  Let me know on the blog!  If you don’t know what your calling is, what is your biggest obstacle?  I love your comments, so post them here on the blog.

Are you coping too well with a bad situation, a job you hate, a bad relationship?

Have you mastered ways to make things positive, reframe the situation, change your thoughts, focus on what’s working?

Do you believe deep down that he who endures the most suffering without falling apart will be rewarded in the end?

I did and so do most of the people that I coach.

If you share this trait, then you are what Martha Beck refers to in her book Steering By Starlight, as a fire fleer.  A fire fleer is a pain avoider.  We ignore, avoid or repress our suffering and keep it to ourselves.  Super successful fire fleers manage to hide their pain even from themselves.  The opposite of the fire fleer is the story fondler – those people who recount their tales of woe endlessly.  You can spot the story fondlers by looking for the glazed eyes of those poor people that are forced to listen to them.

We fire fleers desperately don’t want to be story-fondlers or inflict our pain on anyone else.  We get so adept at coping of looking like we are coping that we even hide how bad we feel from ourselves.  Here’s the problem:

When you flee from your pain, you don’t receive the message that your emotion is trying to send you.

Your emotions are your sophisticated signalling apparatus.  Like the lights on a car dashboard, each emotion signals that you need to check something.

When you are miserable and trying to avoid, ignore or repress your misery you actually hold on to those feelings longer than you would if you stopped trying to ignore them – and you don’t get information that could really help you.

 Karla McLaren in The Language of Emotions talks about the message of different emotions.  Here are a few emotions that most firefleers try not to feel and their messages:

Anger:  a boundary is being violated;

Sadness:  something needs to be released or rejuvenated;

Grief:  something needs to be mourned.

If you have a habit of fleeing the feelings that feel bad here is a simple, safe way that you can start feeling them and figuring out what they mean for you:

Create a Misery Board.

You’ve probably heard of a Vision Board – where you select pictures from magazines that appeal to your heart, cut them out and paste them on a Bristol board.  The Misery Board is similar to the Vision Board, but you select pictures from magazines that resonate with the misery and discontent that you are feeling.

Doing a Misery Board leads to surprising results. 

I first did a Misery Board when I moved to the small Northern town that I live in.  I had been unwilling to admit that I hated living in the town.  I couldn’t find anything to appreciate about my town.  I was scared of being a Debbie Downer.  After repressing my emotions for far too long, I did a Misery Board.

I acknowledged that I really missed the city, that I really missed speaking English (my town is a unilingual French speaking town), that I felt like an outsider and that I feared that no one would ever appreciate the real me.  Doing the misery board allowed me to feel my grief and release my attachment to the past.

Then I did a Vision Board.

As a direct result of that Misery Board/Vision Board combo, I started an on-line business where I work almost 100% in English.  Now with clients all over the world, I don’t miss not living in a big city.  I appreciate the open spaces and nature, and I travel to large cities regularly.  It’s a pretty miraculous shift.  And I really credit the Misery Board!

By permitting myself to feel what I was trying to avoid, I found the space and energy to create my own new beginning.

And you can too.

You can download a 5 minute recording on how to do the Misery Board and Vision Board here.    If you are a firefleer, do a Misery Board first then do a vision board.  It’ll help you to find your freedom and stumble upon your passions!